Last 23 - Choir

Hey guys! So, I really want to post some English writings on my blog, even though I am not so proud of my English. But there is some stuff that I really, really would love to tell everyone I know. So this writing must be in English this time! Caution: This writing is full of emotions. It contains my feelings. Actually, my feelings on everything! But mostly, about going back to Turkey. So, get ready.

You know that I am/was singing in a choir here. It is a part of my life in Norway. Every thursday, I took the bus directly from school to BMS (Borgheim Menighets Senter) and ate my dinner there with my friends. Almost every thursday, the food came later than it was supposed to come and we ate in a hurry while the others were setting the chairs in the right order. My host mom got ready to play piano. Our choir chef, kor-mor Kristin rang her bell and said 'now we should start!'. Sometimes we tried to eat and warm up at the same time. Every thursday, we had something new. A new song, a new exercise, a new consert or show to look forward to. I can not even count how many times I sang in the Nötteröy Church with them. Christmas, religious services, Santa Lucia Day, 17th May, confirmations, 'Veiene ute i verden'; the concert that we sang for refugees as a charity work, the Cats Musical, and so on. Every thursday I was so happy to be there with my friends. I went home very inspired and relaxed after every practice. I felt so cool after every concert and show. 

The 17th May concert was really special for me, because I wore the traditional Norwegian clothes and sang the national song of Norway. 'Ja vi elsker dette landet' is the first national song that I know, except from the one that belongs to Turkey. I felt so Norwegian! 

And the Cats musical, oh my god, it was one of the best experiences that I could experience in Norway! A musical, it is just so different than any other concerts. We worked so hard on it, had amazing costumes and make up, and had really fluffy hair for the show! I have never had so much fun. So, maybe some of you are wondering, why am I writing about the choir? The answer is easy.

Today, I said my first 'goodbye' to some people that I really love. We had our last choir practice of the year today. We had BBQ and icecream, we sang and they said good bye to me. We dropped some tears from our eyes. We hugged each other and said 'this is not the end'. It was really heartbreaking. The funny thing is, I did not know that I love choir and the people there that much! It will be so weird without the choir. I don't know what to think and feel. It has been so many days since I came here. And now, less than a month left, 23 days to go. I had my first farewell, it broke my heart. Should it have happened so early? I don't know when I am going to see these people again. 

I am writing this post in English, because I want everyone to understand. To understand how hard it is to be an exchange student. It is not as good as it seems. First of all, I have doubled my life! 2 families, 2 friend-squads, 2 schools, 2 home towns, 2 languages and so on. The worst thing is, I will have to leave one of my lives forever. I can not explain my psycological situation right now, it is just broken! I am changing moods during the day and feeling every single emotion. I have never had more tiring times before, I am just so tired. 

You might say that everything is gonna be allright when I am back in Turkey. And I know, I will feel more normal and I might not have that 'emotion rollercoaster' in my life anymore. But to think about the end of my Norwegian life? It just kills me. It is so hard, the hardest part of my year. And the worst. And the most tiring. And sad. I had to say good bye, I wish it was a 'see you soon', but it wasn't. 

Every good thing has an end and every ending has a beginning. But I am not sure when the beginning is. This choir and all my friends will be always in my heart. I will always tell about you and I will totally listen to you again. I don't know when, but I know it will happen. 

I love you so much, you are the world's best choir! Thank you for an amazing year!